iceparty asked: How do you handle the anxiety? I don't mean to be blunt or personal but I've had some bad anxiety since the start of the year. Finding myself eating and smoking less. Idk what to do.
It’s cool bro. If there’s one thing anxiety has taught me, it’s one element of human nature that brings us closer together.
Anxiety from what I’ve found is always irrational. However plausible it may be or seem, it’s still irrational by definition. By approaching the anxiety with calm logic and, for lack of a better phrase, zen-like wisdom, you can deflate the situations better - and over time - build better reactions to the anxiety that lessens the frequency/intensity.
I’ve been anxious as fuck about death. Or life I suppose. Every thought for some reason was tainted with this foreboding feeling of intense terror.
I’d be watching Batman the Brave and the Bold and hear Aquaman say a throwaway line like “I’ll be doing this for the rest of my life.” And it’d trigger me into this spiral of thinking about what it’d be like getting caught up doing the wrong thing my whole life and meeting death with regret.
Or I’d do something as simple as take a piss and question it completely to the point where I’d worry about not being able to piss in the future for some reason, or getting kidney stones, or any other myriad of things that could inflict my cock’s sensitive system.
To some extent, I had to walk down these paths. There’s a reason I’m feeling this way, and to try to run away from it or dismiss it would be inconducive to my personal growth. My subconscious is firing these fearful synapses for a reason, and by accepting and exploring the anxiety, I was able to come face to face with that. I made sure to dive deep into the feelings, cry it out, and discuss them. Plenty of love and hugs at this stage was very helpful.
Now that I’ve learned my lesson though, I’m ready to get over this mountain. The path to normality is paved like any other road in life, through dedication and focus. Each time I have a thought of anxiety arise now, I’ll quell it with a loving or logical thought, or even reinforce it with strength. For me particularly, it’s focusing on the present and how good it is.
Just some generic thought fixing patterns/mantras I’ve been doing:
"Why am I taxing myself on something that hasn’t even happened yet? I’m happy and healthy now, and that’s all I could ask for."
"No matter what happens, the strength of my spirit is unrelenting, and every previous conflict in my life has proven that."
"This is just a feeling, just a moment, that’ll pass."
"There will always be people around to love and support you."
"There’s plenty of love inside you, let it be."
Such and such. Just deflating any irrational thought with any sort of logic I can spin in it’s direction. And at this point(for me at least), a separation of feeling and a level of ‘cold logic’ is even fine. Focusing on not-thinking a lot of the time, distracting myself, because most of the anxiety arises from over-thinking.
Exercise has been helping a bit, helping vent emotions. I’ve been making sure to treat myself, rather than stick to closely to my diet regimen. If I’m feeling good, I’ll run down to a fast food place and cement the positivity with chicken nuggets or roll a fat blunt. If I’m tired, I nap or sleep longer. It’s been a matter of being sensitive with/to myself, being as much of a loving support as I need to be.
Hope you find personal salvation from the pit of despair broseph.